Bored Bored.. my Sunday !

Its a damm bloody sunday again.. Last nite didnt go for Jojo Bday at PLAY.. I fell asleep at ard 9 plus i think.. Watch TV halfway then fell asleep... Sorry JOJO and HAPPY 21st Birthday to you!!!...

SIA interview:

This morning I wake up at 11 plus then rush down to Sheraton Hotel for the SIA cabin crew interview.. Being a first timer, i was shocked to my death! Didnt expect this phenomenon to me. First.. there was like "ALOT" of people sooo many preety and handsome people "including me" ahem!ahem!! at first they check my height requirement. Then the Fxxing lady say loud loud, "Im sorry sir U didnt meet our height requirement!" WTH im 170! then she called her supervisor to check and found out she read wrongly.. Stupid blondie! Then they call like10 ppl for the first round interview (which there was 3 rounds).. In the interview room, we all sit infront of the judges like "american next top model" liddat.. gosh so many cute guys some are models.. wooh i got sooo nervous!! Then one by one stand up and do a 2 minute presentation on why they are the right candidate.. Then comes my turn.. gosh I trembled and i think i only speak less than a minute... Im soo freaking nervous.. My first time.. Then after all dat, they ask wait outside the room for the result.. waaa now is like the "apprentice" scene.. all nervous.. then the lady came out. she called out 4 names and say "the rest, thank you for coming.." KNS my name not called.. so sad can!! the chosen one to go for the 2nd round interview all can speak very well, wear so smart with tie, short and neat hair and "Handsome" gosh the model guy got nice bods and face! haha as for me.. im damm shit.. I came with long hair, Skinny jeans, and Tshirt.. hahaha Damm! then I head home and went for a swim.. Anyways, gonna try again next month.. everymonth got..

Back at home:

Sians nth to do at home.. sleep and watch TV.. really budgeting whats left of my savings.. Anyways I took some of my kindergarden graduation pics.. Haha.. kept it from K2 till now.. Sooo cute aint it?? dats why back then always got sooo many pervert uncles try to rape or molest me.. stupid old man!

New Job..

Well, Went for an interview and got a job at O'briens Irish sandwich Bar .. Well I gotta job as Management Trainee... Means that after three month of training I'll be running my own cafe/Bar as a Store Manager.. Well the pay is not that fantastic much much more lower than teaching of course.. But this is what i want to do.. I hate office jobs and I love F&B jobs coz i get to EAT!! haha

Hope this job work out for me and its my stepping stone maybe one day i'll set up my own cafe as well.. well i gotta long way to learn. Aniways you people can come down and chill at my cafe yah!! i'll be stationed at UOB plaza Clerk Quay for the time being... Chaozz..

Devastated

Suddenly felt deeply devastated and dissappointed.. So many things keep going through my mind now.. I cant stop thinking.. Sumtimes i wanna cry, I dont know what i'm thinking..

I lost my job... It was so sudden.. No warning no nothing... I dun even have back up savings to support myself.. I wanted to change job but not this soon, at least after i had saved a bit. Well, My department closed down so i have to go. I spent all of my last mth salary paying my credit card bills and etc... I dunno what i should do now.. I cant tell my mom. She expects so many things from me. I cant dissappoint her.. Guess I have to struggle. My next step is to find job.. well, with some faith and hope i guess i could find one soon. Cant be choosy, these days not easy to get job.

I dunno I suddenly lost hope.. I dunno what I am feeling now.. I feel this uneasiness in my mind and heart. I feel this emptiness thats preventing me from smiling. I dun feel like talking to anyone. I dunno.. I feel so useless.. guess I am a nobody now already.. I lost everything. I am such a miser now.. I feel so low..

I cant tell my family. Im living "alone".. No body is beside me to lend me a shoulder to lean on. I have to be strong by myself all this while... I am very happy when i was succesful but now that i am in the lurch, i feel so down i could break out in tears anytime.. I prayed, but why dont "they" help?? am I such a bad person to have such a bad luck?

Dunno what to do now........ yet alone once again... I regretted so many things in life..

Long time no Update!!

Well sorry folks for not updating for so long coz im really busy didnt even have time to go online.. Well now since im back.. Hmm nothing much happen.. Same old daily stuffs.. Been spending alot of time with my "sushi".. Hes going back to Japan tmr. Well Im gonna MISS YOU!! Cant say much here.. keeping more of my life private coz been the talk of the town lately.. so must stay low low profile.. Well, those who knows i hate you, "I still hate you".. those who knows i care, "I still care".. And those who knows i love you, "I still do!" ... and yah my hair is growing longer.. but soo slow!!

Chilli Crab!!

Went out with my international friends ard 5pm to eat chilli crab at Lau Pa Sat. Two of my friends one from Korea and another from Vietnam.. Both ask me say wan eat chilli crab like dats so my favourite! so I took time off from work and indulge in the heavenly food! So at Lau Pa Sat we ordered Chilli Crab which is ard 60 bucks! "gong gong" "hum" and vegetables.. All my fav!! Gosh the chilli crab so nice! I ate damm alot untill i end up walking like crab.. hahaha.. aniways below r the pics
The gong gong and hum
Our Chilli crab!!!
My Korean friend.. my Vietnam friend


After eating I go home and sleep.. So sleepy sia.. Now wake up at 11pm and blog down... Going back to sleep.. Haiz Im Single and Available.. just random.. I miss U :)

Korean Dinner

After work i met my old friend Iggie.. Known him ever since i small boy 14 yrs old... Anyways, Iggie took me to a Korean Restaurant at China Square.. At first I dun like coz i dun fancy koran food and kimchi.. But after eating, I love the food. The Kimchi is nice too.. We ordered beer as well, a korean beer called "hite".. The beer is damm nice and smooth.. And it goes really well with the food. I ate spicy chicken.. Its so nice.. The whole experience was spectacular. Everything blend in so well.. Gosh Im lovin it!!

Fri, Sat and Sunday madness

Well this is my blabbing for the weekends...

Friday:
After work went to meet friends in town.. was happy and all.. Then suddenly at cine saw my ex, "Rain". He tapped my shoulder from behind and said hi. I stood there shocked and didnt say a word. I stared at him blankly and didnt even smile. My heart suddenly beat so fast. Gosh a year passed and he changed so much.. Must admit that he's not that good looking as before but still. He ask why have i been ignoring him on msn? i couldnt answer just keep quiet.. I just answer dunno then he point middle finger at me then walk off.. My mood suddenly changed.. I bcome not so happy le.. dunno why. Then sumtime later he call my Hp and ask wan to meet anot. I ask why. HE say he miss me. I ask him to fuck off coz he got stead liao and his stead is very ugly. Then at nite went to PLAY with my best bud Andy and his stead and two other girls. Partying was ok only. Then sumtin happen. Andy and his stead quarreled. Coz his stead go and take other guy number than Andy jealous then go and slapped his stead. Then they nearly fight. This his stead "Big Bro" Ah Zhen come and push Andy and wan to beat. I pulled Andy Behind me and ask them to stop. Then I pull Andy go dance floor and dance with me.. I talked things with him and after club both of them go home together.. I think they're ok.. Everytime fight wan. Then when I wan to go home, some ppl make me angry. FUCKING TAKE ME FOR GRANTED! I good enuf call my uncle send them home yet they FUCKING take their Own sweet time sashay here and there mingle mingle untill my uncle wait so long and scold me. I FUCKING pissed at HIM and the friends, I nearly slapped the 4 of them. and NONE OF THEM FORK OUT A SINGLE CENT TO PAY ABIT. SO BO PAISE CAN. FUCKING BITCHES AND SLUTS ENJOY FREE THINGS! GO AND DIE LA! If i see them at Maxwell again dats it..

Saturday:
Went to Legend to sing and drink lots and lots of beer.. haha Sing untill my throat sore now. Halfway then saw Fiona, Yongan and another guy come also they come drink drink.. I wasnt in a good mood coz of my "date" coz of friday nite that thing... Then he pissed me off again by exchanging number with another guy he just met. They went to chat outside secretly and exchange number. How i know.. I may be inside singing but my eyes are everywhere.. At that moment i ask him to FUCK OFF its over. He take his bag and leave, I hack care.. So bleddy angry. I never met anyone so "ARGH!" before. Then Fiona and Yongan get really drunk. They drink in the end I have to take care. Fiona not so bad still can walk. Yongan totally flat, and I have to carry Him halfway.. Cant carry all the way coz too heavy la.. fat liao.. then his BF continue carry him.. Then we sit at maxwell.. Both Fiona and Yongan vomitted like damm alot can!! I was not in a good mood. Fiona in her drunk state very annoying.. I said "DRUNK STATE" normal she very nice. She keep making alot of noise i dun care.. But then she start hitting my face. I du lan then i slapped her damn hard and shout at her to keep quiet. I wan her to wake up la not coz i hate her or wad. And I very particular and dun like ppl hitting my face. U can say anitin can scold my mother father or wad but never touch my face.. One reason coz it was expensive.. lol joking nia.. Then I took Fiona home and she spend the nite at my hse.

Sunday:
Me and Fiona wake up and prepare to go out. We ate curry chicken at home my mum cook then head to town. then ROY pang seh us! MAKE US WAIT FOR 3 HOUR THEN LST MIN SAY NEVER COME. If i bad mood i sure scold upside down and slap! Then met Christina and her super irritating but abit cute friend Benji. Me and Fiona dun like him. Keep on blabbing nonsense that we r not interested in. So we went walk walk in town then go home. I feel abit sick.

Guess u're over and done with.. U dun even care

Im seeing everything clearly now.. U dun even show a slight care from me. I thought id protect you from getting hurt but it seems that Its not worth my effort. The last Sms u sent me clearly showed everything. All the answer I need to know. Well i guessed u moved on fast. So im gonna head home and throw away wad ever things u give me. I hate seeing them now. It just makes me mad. Im gonna get over you. Sumone told me, "Why cry and be sad over you, when you out there are having a good time and dun even think of you not even a slight thought". I figured, I must let you go.. Well, goodbye and i dun ever wanna think of you again..

Im breaking Down!! I regret ... yet again

I miss you so bad... I miss your voice.. I miss your sweet talks, I miss you like crazy.. Its so difficult to get over you.. How can I force myself to stop loving you? How can i force my mind to stop loving you when my heart still does?

I love you and i still do.. I regret whatever i did though i know its for the better of us.. There are things which i could not explain. There are things which i cant let you know coz im scared.. It hurts so bad.. I force myself not to cry specially not in front of my friends though im abit "seh". I didnt cry. Instead i was busy taking care of Fiona coz she drunk. no one knows and i intend to keep it dat way.. Let me breakdown myself..

I realized I have myself to blame.. I drove you away.. I forced you to leave.. Not coz i dun love you. Its coz i dun wanna hurt you in the future and I dun wan to get hurt just like before... There are things which i dont wanna tell you. But I know if I dont tell you, You will sure find out from other ppl. This "aj" circle is so small. Coz I know U will never accept me. Just like any other ppl who just suddenly "disappear". I dun wan to fall in love with you so deep and get hurt in the end coz of this. Its not easy to drive sumone you really love away and forget about it. I still read the "thing" every now and then.

I know i cant do anything now.. I know I have to move on. Im not normal. Nobody will accept me. I feel so inhuman. I'll just continue hurtin everyday..

Why does it hurt so bad?? Why do I feel so sad?? I thought i was over you but i keep crying when I dont love you. So why does it hurt so bad?? Guess I can never be over you yet...

Im kinda seh... its 5 am in the morning. and i think i better sleep now.. :(

Bored at work cut newspaper..

Today gt nothing to do at work so I cut newspaper and paste paste.. haha.. This if for ma meat eaters!! rock your fat!! Eat more fats and you'll be harder to burn in hell!! Dont even think of slimming centre, It doesnt work! FACE IT.. FATS are sexy... Look at the PIGS! they're pink!mame no sense... nah im just bored!! hahaha.. If ur reading this means: UR FAT!

click on image to see bigger

Fucking Old pervert my office

Today I got stalked and pissed off by an old chinese pervert from Trevvy. Im looking for people who can teach accountings at my school so in tried asking around but no one can.. So i post an advertisement on Trevvy.com.
Of coz when i post the ad, my profile will appear ma then can see my pic. Then today i receive a call from this guy.. He say he's young and qualified, experienced and very interested in the job. So He DEMANDED i arrange an interview with him.. I called him once i reach my office at 10.. Then he came down very fast leh at 10.30!! I also asked him to bring down his CV and certificates..
Apparently, when he came down to my office, I got a few supprises. First, He was this freaking old man around 40 plus. His hair is balding and receding. Bad enuf, He also come empty handed no CV no cert.. So i ask him, "Can i take a look at ur CV or Cert"... then he ya ya papaya reply, "I dun need CV and Cert, Im experienced enuf you just employ me!" .. Then i say "But I need it to submit to my boss!".. Then he say "No need la, I can make you happy!".. HUH! wad does that means!
Coz he sit infront of me.. Then he suddenly under the table put his hand and reach for my lap and touch there.. I say "Excuse me, What r u trying to do?!".."I think you better leave, I will call you again when you have the cert".. Then he apologise.
Then he ask me out for tea. Keep forcing me say go out with him.. of coz i say no la. Then i call my colleague come in my office pretend got something important so he can leave.. Then He wait outside my compound sia... Fuck im so pissed off... Im so desperate looking for people to hire and he come play this kinda things.. Waste my time only sia... Im so angry.. Hes so OLD and UGLY and BALDING!! and worst of all PERVERT OLD MAN!

Sad love, Miserable love, emo love

I try to talk to you, but I don't know what to say. I am afraid you don't want me to say anything. So I don't. But inside of me there are words waiting to come out. And tell you how I feel-like how I miss you. And how I love you despite my broken heart. And how I need you in my life. And especially how much I want you. But those words may forever stay in my heart-locked inside. Sometimes I wonder if there are words locked inside you too... but I'll never know

Why does it always have to come down to you leaving
before i say i love you?
why do i always use the words that cut the deepest
when i know how much it hurts you?

I can't talk to you anymore, it's not that I am mad at you, it's just that when I talk to you I realize how much I love you and when I realize how much I love you, I realize I can't have you and that makes me love you even more

I wonder, when you look into my eyes and watch my heart shatter, does it break your heart too, even crack it a little bit?

I looked in the mirror this morning, but I only saw me without you

Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together

I really dun understand why people wants to find a perfect guy! always complaint of imperfection.. But to me, its different. I come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly

Im on Magazine!!!

OMG im featured in so many magzzz !!!! so cool!!

Guess im the moron of the year!! Screw up so many things this year.. So shit can!!!

Awwww aint that sweet.... lol... no wedding gowns la..

Haiz... why life so dreadful!!

Sumtimes when U like sumone, its just to difficult to say it to them.. Especially if you had done something wrong or you know that your not up to dat person expectation or standard.. All U can do is just sit there and think of em all the time and wish that feeling just dissappear though its difficult.

More Emo emo emo emo

I loved you.. I took care of you... I gave you everything you needed.. But it was never enough.. Its always lack of this and that... U found ur perfect guy.. I found My perfect disaster.. Given chance i will always take you back, coz true love never die even if we separates..

Its just loads of pain and agony everyday living life being alone.. When U have no one to laugh with, cry with, hold hands with, no one to to put ur hands around..

My love,
There's only you in my life
The only thing that's bright

My first love,
You're every breath that I take
You're every step I make

And I.....
I want to share
All my love with you
No one else will do...

And your eyes
They tell me how much you care
yes, you will always be
My endless love

Two hearts,
Two hearts that beat as one
Our lives have just begun

Forever
I'll hold you close in my arms
I can't resist your charms

And love
I'll be a fool
For you,
I'm sure
You know I don't mind
'Cause you,
You mean the world to me

I know
I've found in you
My endless love

And, YES
You'll be the only one
'Cause NO one can deny
This love I have inside
And I'll give it all to you
My love
My love, my love
My endless love

I Still Love you after all these years....

Quotes of the day:

Why do people have to lose things to find out what they really mean?

Whenever I cried he would always make me feel like he would change the world if he could so it couldn't hurt me anymore. But now I’m crying and he's not here

You can close your eyes to things you don’t want to see, but you can’t close your heart to things you don’t want to feel.

I wish I had the guts to walk away and forget about what we had. But, I can’t because I know you won't come after me, and I guess that's what hurts the most

I hate you...and then I love you...it's like I want to throw you off a cliff....then rush to the bottom to catch you

Emoing again... Damm that stupid love song! Its Raining again...

Late for work, Sore eye...

Been coming for work late lately dunno why.. Normally I wake up at 8am latest.. But this few days I keep waking up at 9 plus... And Im suppose to be in office at 9.30.. Been three days liao keep coming to work at 10 plus or 11.. Well, My boss didnt notice la coz he's never in.. Dunno why today i woke up with a sore eye damm painful.. Cant wear contact lense.. Have to wear my goggle to work! damn!

My eyes damn pain!!
Gosh, dont feel like working this few days.. I cancelled all the lectures and classes this week ask them to stay at home study for exam next week. Cant seem to do anything, just sit and stare at the computer and watch youtube.. This week damn lag! hope i can get on my feet again next week if not i'll get the booting sia!!
Nothing much to do lately.. after work head to gym and swim. 3 days in a row liao I swim and Gym.. Muscles starting to ache like hell also.. But i'll keep on pushin it.. Ah wells... Saving money for my Bangkok and Korean trip.. BKK will be in July and Korea in Dec where its snowy... Guess i needa chill pill!!

Reflections 5: How my life transforms from a boy to man -.-

Basically this is how my life transform from A kid to an adult.. It seems so fast to me.. Too fast that im missing my childhood days very much. I miss my schooling days alot. I miss my secondary Sch and JC friends.. Gosh if i could turn back time, theres so many things I wanna do! Time fly so fast!

I miss me Secondary school life.. I miss NCC! I miss my Dance Club! I miss My class, The best class ever.. Well I stil remember Almost all our sch CCA heads were from my class.. Example The Head Student Council, CSM & ASM(me!) of NCC, SI of NPCC, Chief of Scouts, Head of Boys Brigade, Head of CAC (Catholic Activities council), President of Dance Club (me!).. haha so cool. And I remembered My Graduation Prom nite.. Gosh.. I was the Class Chairman so I have to deliver a speech.. Haha So embarassing and after my speech all the boys were like screaming like girls! (all boys sch wad ya expect!).. And the thing is.. I was the "Mr.Personality" dat nite... hehe cool eh!!

Then I remembered when i collected my O level result.. So nervous! As usual Being Paranoid I tot i failed badly! So when get the result, i looked at it slowly.. Shocked of my life!!! I remembered I saw an all A and one pathetic D! SHIT spoilt my Cert only! Guess wad was that D?? yes Its Maths! I bleedy got a D7 for maths! So there goes my chance to get into a Polytechnic.. Sad yes i was sad.. its like All "As" and maths D! I suck at maths la..

Then went to CJC since most of my classmates going there also... However in CJ, we got saperated.. All my bleedy sec sch classmates took different subject combi from me!! They all took science but i took pure arts! how dumb! I took what the sch called a "Killer combi", its Econs, History, Geography and Lit. Haha and only 11 people took this combi!!! Was struggling like mad in JC.. Coz its like ten times thougher than sec sch stuffs... I remembered I went to continue my NCC as a Cadet Officer (CLT) and then promoted to senior (SCLT). I very on in NCC wan ok! of course la the best in my school leh! After promotion to JC2 coz i did my promos Exam badly, the principle force me to drop one subject.. So i drop Lit.. Preparing for A levels was like HELL!! Plus i got this bad habbit of clubbing since sec 4!! haha "WHYNOT!""Waterbar!" my weekends clubbing hangouts! Even during exams, I still club sia! Crazy! So I didnt do too well for A level.. sob sob.. but its ok!

After this, there goes my childhood days!! Its Adult hood time... and u know what dat means.. At the same time, I took on to take my private study from UOL.. did my BBA for 3 yrs.. And i also studied Dance at MDC and SDC. "I love dancing too!" haha..

Well, By the age of 20, im already working.. After 3 years of working.. I think its time i hit the books back and continue my studies... One thing havent change! I still am a Club-holic.. haha Told ya i love dancing! and drinking! lol... Well most importantly when i club now, its my childhood friends that are still clubbing with me and we never get tired of each other!! I miss the good old days! I hope the young people really enjoy their youth to the fullest before they start to grow up fast!

I remember my sec best friend give me a note on graduation nite:
"Grow Up!! But dont loose the child in you!"

Hurt

Well I guess its over.. Life goes on I guess... back to being the Lonely and Emo guy again.... I dunno whether I made the right decision.. I know Im gonna regret. I know Im gonna miss you alot. Let time Heal... "Om mani Pedme Hum" mantra of compassion.. May it heals and deliver everyone from sufferings..

I hate this feeling of a broken heart.....

What more can i say to you

Look at the way you talk! You're giving up to easily.. You keep saying ur self a looser! Im dont wanna be with a loser.. If you really want me, show me something.. instead of giving up like that, you should stop me from leaving! You should ask me back. work something out. Be the man! Instead ur just giving up and walking away.. That shows how much you love me. Dont just say it la prove it..

I explained so many hundred thousands of times to you but you still dont get it.. Should i spoon feed you on everything so that you could be a normal gentlemen?? I dont know what to say anymore.. Ur sms this morning is implying as if i have no family, as if i have no friends, as if i have no work, and as if i dont have to concentrate on my 25 000 words thesis. I have all that too! I think of you thats why i always make time for you! but everytime i make time for you, you just too busy with something else. How many days have i not been working on my thesis just to make it free for you. U dunno. So dont think of what you do only... IN your heart is Im very hard to please... NO. IM NOT HARD TO PLEASE!! you just need to know basic needs of a relationship. And yes im pissed off with you when you asked me out yet you went to study with your friends.. You could clearly see i dressed up so nice to spend time with you. In the end all i meet is just a shabby guy in singlet, shorts and slippers getting ready to go to the library to study... You could have told me earlier so I wouldnt have to dress so nice just to met you for an hour for dinner miles away from home. And i could meet you some other day and i could stay home. Its dissappointing yes it is! You asked me out. I thought i could have the day with you, thought could watch movie with you and spend time together... but you let me down..

I know it seems biased... it seems its all me, me, me and just me. But hey if im that selfish bastard, i would have leave you earlier for not being there with me at all. but i gave you your space that you needed... Infact i gave you all the space you need.. so is it all about me?

Think la... Its a holiday and weekend, is it wrong to spend some time with me? U meet ur family and friends every single day. .

aiya forget it, no use for me babbling on and on... set your priorities right and be a man, not just of words, but action... I dont hate you... maybe just a little mad... but hey, u walked off not me.. u gave up.

Yes I still Love you... If I dont love you, I wont care, I could just flirt around when ur nt there but i didnt.. Is coz i love you im doing all this. IF I dont love you, I wont be asking you to spend time with me... You dont have to ask me how uch i love you... use ur brain and think.