I miss you so bad... I miss your voice.. I miss your sweet talks, I miss you like crazy.. Its so difficult to get over you.. How can I force myself to stop loving you? How can i force my mind to stop loving you when my heart still does?
I love you and i still do.. I regret whatever i did though i know its for the better of us.. There are things which i could not explain. There are things which i cant let you know coz im scared.. It hurts so bad.. I force myself not to cry specially not in front of my friends though im abit "seh". I didnt cry. Instead i was busy taking care of Fiona coz she drunk. no one knows and i intend to keep it dat way.. Let me breakdown myself..
I realized I have myself to blame.. I drove you away.. I forced you to leave.. Not coz i dun love you. Its coz i dun wanna hurt you in the future and I dun wan to get hurt just like before... There are things which i dont wanna tell you. But I know if I dont tell you, You will sure find out from other ppl. This "aj" circle is so small. Coz I know U will never accept me. Just like any other ppl who just suddenly "disappear". I dun wan to fall in love with you so deep and get hurt in the end coz of this. Its not easy to drive sumone you really love away and forget about it. I still read the "thing" every now and then.
I know i cant do anything now.. I know I have to move on. Im not normal. Nobody will accept me. I feel so inhuman. I'll just continue hurtin everyday..
Why does it hurt so bad?? Why do I feel so sad?? I thought i was over you but i keep crying when I dont love you. So why does it hurt so bad?? Guess I can never be over you yet...
Im kinda seh... its 5 am in the morning. and i think i better sleep now.. :(
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Bored at work cut newspaper..
Today gt nothing to do at work so I cut newspaper and paste paste.. haha.. This if for ma meat eaters!! rock your fat!! Eat more fats and you'll be harder to burn in hell!! Dont even think of slimming centre, It doesnt work! FACE IT.. FATS are sexy... Look at the PIGS! they're pink!mame no sense... nah im just bored!! hahaha.. If ur reading this means: UR FAT!
click on image to see bigger
click on image to see bigger
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Fucking Old pervert my office
Today I got stalked and pissed off by an old chinese pervert from Trevvy. Im looking for people who can teach accountings at my school so in tried asking around but no one can.. So i post an advertisement on Trevvy.com.
Of coz when i post the ad, my profile will appear ma then can see my pic. Then today i receive a call from this guy.. He say he's young and qualified, experienced and very interested in the job. So He DEMANDED i arrange an interview with him.. I called him once i reach my office at 10.. Then he came down very fast leh at 10.30!! I also asked him to bring down his CV and certificates..
Apparently, when he came down to my office, I got a few supprises. First, He was this freaking old man around 40 plus. His hair is balding and receding. Bad enuf, He also come empty handed no CV no cert.. So i ask him, "Can i take a look at ur CV or Cert"... then he ya ya papaya reply, "I dun need CV and Cert, Im experienced enuf you just employ me!" .. Then i say "But I need it to submit to my boss!".. Then he say "No need la, I can make you happy!".. HUH! wad does that means!
Coz he sit infront of me.. Then he suddenly under the table put his hand and reach for my lap and touch there.. I say "Excuse me, What r u trying to do?!".."I think you better leave, I will call you again when you have the cert".. Then he apologise.
Then he ask me out for tea. Keep forcing me say go out with him.. of coz i say no la. Then i call my colleague come in my office pretend got something important so he can leave.. Then He wait outside my compound sia... Fuck im so pissed off... Im so desperate looking for people to hire and he come play this kinda things.. Waste my time only sia... Im so angry.. Hes so OLD and UGLY and BALDING!! and worst of all PERVERT OLD MAN!
Of coz when i post the ad, my profile will appear ma then can see my pic. Then today i receive a call from this guy.. He say he's young and qualified, experienced and very interested in the job. So He DEMANDED i arrange an interview with him.. I called him once i reach my office at 10.. Then he came down very fast leh at 10.30!! I also asked him to bring down his CV and certificates..
Apparently, when he came down to my office, I got a few supprises. First, He was this freaking old man around 40 plus. His hair is balding and receding. Bad enuf, He also come empty handed no CV no cert.. So i ask him, "Can i take a look at ur CV or Cert"... then he ya ya papaya reply, "I dun need CV and Cert, Im experienced enuf you just employ me!" .. Then i say "But I need it to submit to my boss!".. Then he say "No need la, I can make you happy!".. HUH! wad does that means!
Coz he sit infront of me.. Then he suddenly under the table put his hand and reach for my lap and touch there.. I say "Excuse me, What r u trying to do?!".."I think you better leave, I will call you again when you have the cert".. Then he apologise.
Then he ask me out for tea. Keep forcing me say go out with him.. of coz i say no la. Then i call my colleague come in my office pretend got something important so he can leave.. Then He wait outside my compound sia... Fuck im so pissed off... Im so desperate looking for people to hire and he come play this kinda things.. Waste my time only sia... Im so angry.. Hes so OLD and UGLY and BALDING!! and worst of all PERVERT OLD MAN!
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Sad love, Miserable love, emo love
I try to talk to you, but I don't know what to say. I am afraid you don't want me to say anything. So I don't. But inside of me there are words waiting to come out. And tell you how I feel-like how I miss you. And how I love you despite my broken heart. And how I need you in my life. And especially how much I want you. But those words may forever stay in my heart-locked inside. Sometimes I wonder if there are words locked inside you too... but I'll never know
Why does it always have to come down to you leaving
before i say i love you?
why do i always use the words that cut the deepest
when i know how much it hurts you?
I can't talk to you anymore, it's not that I am mad at you, it's just that when I talk to you I realize how much I love you and when I realize how much I love you, I realize I can't have you and that makes me love you even more
I wonder, when you look into my eyes and watch my heart shatter, does it break your heart too, even crack it a little bit?
I looked in the mirror this morning, but I only saw me without you
Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together
I really dun understand why people wants to find a perfect guy! always complaint of imperfection.. But to me, its different. I come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly
Why does it always have to come down to you leaving
before i say i love you?
why do i always use the words that cut the deepest
when i know how much it hurts you?
I can't talk to you anymore, it's not that I am mad at you, it's just that when I talk to you I realize how much I love you and when I realize how much I love you, I realize I can't have you and that makes me love you even more
I wonder, when you look into my eyes and watch my heart shatter, does it break your heart too, even crack it a little bit?
I looked in the mirror this morning, but I only saw me without you
Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together
I really dun understand why people wants to find a perfect guy! always complaint of imperfection.. But to me, its different. I come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Awwww aint that sweet.... lol... no wedding gowns la..
Haiz... why life so dreadful!!
Sumtimes when U like sumone, its just to difficult to say it to them.. Especially if you had done something wrong or you know that your not up to dat person expectation or standard.. All U can do is just sit there and think of em all the time and wish that feeling just dissappear though its difficult.
More Emo emo emo emo
I loved you.. I took care of you... I gave you everything you needed.. But it was never enough.. Its always lack of this and that... U found ur perfect guy.. I found My perfect disaster.. Given chance i will always take you back, coz true love never die even if we separates..
Its just loads of pain and agony everyday living life being alone.. When U have no one to laugh with, cry with, hold hands with, no one to to put ur hands around..
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
My love,
There's only you in my life
The only thing that's bright
My first love,
You're every breath that I take
You're every step I make
And I.....
I want to share
All my love with you
No one else will do...
And your eyes
They tell me how much you care
yes, you will always be
My endless love
Two hearts,
Two hearts that beat as one
Our lives have just begun
Forever
I'll hold you close in my arms
I can't resist your charms
And love
I'll be a fool
For you,
I'm sure
You know I don't mind
'Cause you,
You mean the world to me
I know
I've found in you
My endless love
And, YES
You'll be the only one
'Cause NO one can deny
This love I have inside
And I'll give it all to you
My love
My love, my love
My endless love
I Still Love you after all these years....
Quotes of the day:
Why do people have to lose things to find out what they really mean?
Whenever I cried he would always make me feel like he would change the world if he could so it couldn't hurt me anymore. But now I’m crying and he's not here
You can close your eyes to things you don’t want to see, but you can’t close your heart to things you don’t want to feel.
I wish I had the guts to walk away and forget about what we had. But, I can’t because I know you won't come after me, and I guess that's what hurts the most
I hate you...and then I love you...it's like I want to throw you off a cliff....then rush to the bottom to catch you
Emoing again... Damm that stupid love song! Its Raining again...
There's only you in my life
The only thing that's bright
My first love,
You're every breath that I take
You're every step I make
And I.....
I want to share
All my love with you
No one else will do...
And your eyes
They tell me how much you care
yes, you will always be
My endless love
Two hearts,
Two hearts that beat as one
Our lives have just begun
Forever
I'll hold you close in my arms
I can't resist your charms
And love
I'll be a fool
For you,
I'm sure
You know I don't mind
'Cause you,
You mean the world to me
I know
I've found in you
My endless love
And, YES
You'll be the only one
'Cause NO one can deny
This love I have inside
And I'll give it all to you
My love
My love, my love
My endless love
I Still Love you after all these years....
Quotes of the day:
Why do people have to lose things to find out what they really mean?
Whenever I cried he would always make me feel like he would change the world if he could so it couldn't hurt me anymore. But now I’m crying and he's not here
You can close your eyes to things you don’t want to see, but you can’t close your heart to things you don’t want to feel.
I wish I had the guts to walk away and forget about what we had. But, I can’t because I know you won't come after me, and I guess that's what hurts the most
I hate you...and then I love you...it's like I want to throw you off a cliff....then rush to the bottom to catch you
Emoing again... Damm that stupid love song! Its Raining again...
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Late for work, Sore eye...
Been coming for work late lately dunno why.. Normally I wake up at 8am latest.. But this few days I keep waking up at 9 plus... And Im suppose to be in office at 9.30.. Been three days liao keep coming to work at 10 plus or 11.. Well, My boss didnt notice la coz he's never in.. Dunno why today i woke up with a sore eye damm painful.. Cant wear contact lense.. Have to wear my goggle to work! damn!
My eyes damn pain!!
Gosh, dont feel like working this few days.. I cancelled all the lectures and classes this week ask them to stay at home study for exam next week. Cant seem to do anything, just sit and stare at the computer and watch youtube.. This week damn lag! hope i can get on my feet again next week if not i'll get the booting sia!!
Nothing much to do lately.. after work head to gym and swim. 3 days in a row liao I swim and Gym.. Muscles starting to ache like hell also.. But i'll keep on pushin it.. Ah wells... Saving money for my Bangkok and Korean trip.. BKK will be in July and Korea in Dec where its snowy... Guess i needa chill pill!!
My eyes damn pain!!
Gosh, dont feel like working this few days.. I cancelled all the lectures and classes this week ask them to stay at home study for exam next week. Cant seem to do anything, just sit and stare at the computer and watch youtube.. This week damn lag! hope i can get on my feet again next week if not i'll get the booting sia!!
Nothing much to do lately.. after work head to gym and swim. 3 days in a row liao I swim and Gym.. Muscles starting to ache like hell also.. But i'll keep on pushin it.. Ah wells... Saving money for my Bangkok and Korean trip.. BKK will be in July and Korea in Dec where its snowy... Guess i needa chill pill!!
Monday, May 19, 2008
Reflections 5: How my life transforms from a boy to man -.-
Basically this is how my life transform from A kid to an adult.. It seems so fast to me.. Too fast that im missing my childhood days very much. I miss my schooling days alot. I miss my secondary Sch and JC friends.. Gosh if i could turn back time, theres so many things I wanna do! Time fly so fast!
I miss me Secondary school life.. I miss NCC! I miss my Dance Club! I miss My class, The best class ever.. Well I stil remember Almost all our sch CCA heads were from my class.. Example The Head Student Council, CSM & ASM(me!) of NCC, SI of NPCC, Chief of Scouts, Head of Boys Brigade, Head of CAC (Catholic Activities council), President of Dance Club (me!).. haha so cool. And I remembered My Graduation Prom nite.. Gosh.. I was the Class Chairman so I have to deliver a speech.. Haha So embarassing and after my speech all the boys were like screaming like girls! (all boys sch wad ya expect!).. And the thing is.. I was the "Mr.Personality" dat nite... hehe cool eh!!
Then I remembered when i collected my O level result.. So nervous! As usual Being Paranoid I tot i failed badly! So when get the result, i looked at it slowly.. Shocked of my life!!! I remembered I saw an all A and one pathetic D! SHIT spoilt my Cert only! Guess wad was that D?? yes Its Maths! I bleedy got a D7 for maths! So there goes my chance to get into a Polytechnic.. Sad yes i was sad.. its like All "As" and maths D! I suck at maths la..
Then went to CJC since most of my classmates going there also... However in CJ, we got saperated.. All my bleedy sec sch classmates took different subject combi from me!! They all took science but i took pure arts! how dumb! I took what the sch called a "Killer combi", its Econs, History, Geography and Lit. Haha and only 11 people took this combi!!! Was struggling like mad in JC.. Coz its like ten times thougher than sec sch stuffs... I remembered I went to continue my NCC as a Cadet Officer (CLT) and then promoted to senior (SCLT). I very on in NCC wan ok! of course la the best in my school leh! After promotion to JC2 coz i did my promos Exam badly, the principle force me to drop one subject.. So i drop Lit.. Preparing for A levels was like HELL!! Plus i got this bad habbit of clubbing since sec 4!! haha "WHYNOT!""Waterbar!" my weekends clubbing hangouts! Even during exams, I still club sia! Crazy! So I didnt do too well for A level.. sob sob.. but its ok!
After this, there goes my childhood days!! Its Adult hood time... and u know what dat means.. At the same time, I took on to take my private study from UOL.. did my BBA for 3 yrs.. And i also studied Dance at MDC and SDC. "I love dancing too!" haha..
Well, By the age of 20, im already working.. After 3 years of working.. I think its time i hit the books back and continue my studies... One thing havent change! I still am a Club-holic.. haha Told ya i love dancing! and drinking! lol... Well most importantly when i club now, its my childhood friends that are still clubbing with me and we never get tired of each other!! I miss the good old days! I hope the young people really enjoy their youth to the fullest before they start to grow up fast!
I remember my sec best friend give me a note on graduation nite:
"Grow Up!! But dont loose the child in you!"
I miss me Secondary school life.. I miss NCC! I miss my Dance Club! I miss My class, The best class ever.. Well I stil remember Almost all our sch CCA heads were from my class.. Example The Head Student Council, CSM & ASM(me!) of NCC, SI of NPCC, Chief of Scouts, Head of Boys Brigade, Head of CAC (Catholic Activities council), President of Dance Club (me!).. haha so cool. And I remembered My Graduation Prom nite.. Gosh.. I was the Class Chairman so I have to deliver a speech.. Haha So embarassing and after my speech all the boys were like screaming like girls! (all boys sch wad ya expect!).. And the thing is.. I was the "Mr.Personality" dat nite... hehe cool eh!!
Then I remembered when i collected my O level result.. So nervous! As usual Being Paranoid I tot i failed badly! So when get the result, i looked at it slowly.. Shocked of my life!!! I remembered I saw an all A and one pathetic D! SHIT spoilt my Cert only! Guess wad was that D?? yes Its Maths! I bleedy got a D7 for maths! So there goes my chance to get into a Polytechnic.. Sad yes i was sad.. its like All "As" and maths D! I suck at maths la..
Then went to CJC since most of my classmates going there also... However in CJ, we got saperated.. All my bleedy sec sch classmates took different subject combi from me!! They all took science but i took pure arts! how dumb! I took what the sch called a "Killer combi", its Econs, History, Geography and Lit. Haha and only 11 people took this combi!!! Was struggling like mad in JC.. Coz its like ten times thougher than sec sch stuffs... I remembered I went to continue my NCC as a Cadet Officer (CLT) and then promoted to senior (SCLT). I very on in NCC wan ok! of course la the best in my school leh! After promotion to JC2 coz i did my promos Exam badly, the principle force me to drop one subject.. So i drop Lit.. Preparing for A levels was like HELL!! Plus i got this bad habbit of clubbing since sec 4!! haha "WHYNOT!""Waterbar!" my weekends clubbing hangouts! Even during exams, I still club sia! Crazy! So I didnt do too well for A level.. sob sob.. but its ok!
After this, there goes my childhood days!! Its Adult hood time... and u know what dat means.. At the same time, I took on to take my private study from UOL.. did my BBA for 3 yrs.. And i also studied Dance at MDC and SDC. "I love dancing too!" haha..
Well, By the age of 20, im already working.. After 3 years of working.. I think its time i hit the books back and continue my studies... One thing havent change! I still am a Club-holic.. haha Told ya i love dancing! and drinking! lol... Well most importantly when i club now, its my childhood friends that are still clubbing with me and we never get tired of each other!! I miss the good old days! I hope the young people really enjoy their youth to the fullest before they start to grow up fast!
I remember my sec best friend give me a note on graduation nite:
"Grow Up!! But dont loose the child in you!"
Hurt
Well I guess its over.. Life goes on I guess... back to being the Lonely and Emo guy again.... I dunno whether I made the right decision.. I know Im gonna regret. I know Im gonna miss you alot. Let time Heal... "Om mani Pedme Hum" mantra of compassion.. May it heals and deliver everyone from sufferings..
I hate this feeling of a broken heart.....
I hate this feeling of a broken heart.....
What more can i say to you
Look at the way you talk! You're giving up to easily.. You keep saying ur self a looser! Im dont wanna be with a loser.. If you really want me, show me something.. instead of giving up like that, you should stop me from leaving! You should ask me back. work something out. Be the man! Instead ur just giving up and walking away.. That shows how much you love me. Dont just say it la prove it..
I explained so many hundred thousands of times to you but you still dont get it.. Should i spoon feed you on everything so that you could be a normal gentlemen?? I dont know what to say anymore.. Ur sms this morning is implying as if i have no family, as if i have no friends, as if i have no work, and as if i dont have to concentrate on my 25 000 words thesis. I have all that too! I think of you thats why i always make time for you! but everytime i make time for you, you just too busy with something else. How many days have i not been working on my thesis just to make it free for you. U dunno. So dont think of what you do only... IN your heart is Im very hard to please... NO. IM NOT HARD TO PLEASE!! you just need to know basic needs of a relationship. And yes im pissed off with you when you asked me out yet you went to study with your friends.. You could clearly see i dressed up so nice to spend time with you. In the end all i meet is just a shabby guy in singlet, shorts and slippers getting ready to go to the library to study... You could have told me earlier so I wouldnt have to dress so nice just to met you for an hour for dinner miles away from home. And i could meet you some other day and i could stay home. Its dissappointing yes it is! You asked me out. I thought i could have the day with you, thought could watch movie with you and spend time together... but you let me down..
I know it seems biased... it seems its all me, me, me and just me. But hey if im that selfish bastard, i would have leave you earlier for not being there with me at all. but i gave you your space that you needed... Infact i gave you all the space you need.. so is it all about me?
Think la... Its a holiday and weekend, is it wrong to spend some time with me? U meet ur family and friends every single day. .
aiya forget it, no use for me babbling on and on... set your priorities right and be a man, not just of words, but action... I dont hate you... maybe just a little mad... but hey, u walked off not me.. u gave up.
Yes I still Love you... If I dont love you, I wont care, I could just flirt around when ur nt there but i didnt.. Is coz i love you im doing all this. IF I dont love you, I wont be asking you to spend time with me... You dont have to ask me how uch i love you... use ur brain and think.
I explained so many hundred thousands of times to you but you still dont get it.. Should i spoon feed you on everything so that you could be a normal gentlemen?? I dont know what to say anymore.. Ur sms this morning is implying as if i have no family, as if i have no friends, as if i have no work, and as if i dont have to concentrate on my 25 000 words thesis. I have all that too! I think of you thats why i always make time for you! but everytime i make time for you, you just too busy with something else. How many days have i not been working on my thesis just to make it free for you. U dunno. So dont think of what you do only... IN your heart is Im very hard to please... NO. IM NOT HARD TO PLEASE!! you just need to know basic needs of a relationship. And yes im pissed off with you when you asked me out yet you went to study with your friends.. You could clearly see i dressed up so nice to spend time with you. In the end all i meet is just a shabby guy in singlet, shorts and slippers getting ready to go to the library to study... You could have told me earlier so I wouldnt have to dress so nice just to met you for an hour for dinner miles away from home. And i could meet you some other day and i could stay home. Its dissappointing yes it is! You asked me out. I thought i could have the day with you, thought could watch movie with you and spend time together... but you let me down..
I know it seems biased... it seems its all me, me, me and just me. But hey if im that selfish bastard, i would have leave you earlier for not being there with me at all. but i gave you your space that you needed... Infact i gave you all the space you need.. so is it all about me?
Think la... Its a holiday and weekend, is it wrong to spend some time with me? U meet ur family and friends every single day. .
aiya forget it, no use for me babbling on and on... set your priorities right and be a man, not just of words, but action... I dont hate you... maybe just a little mad... but hey, u walked off not me.. u gave up.
Yes I still Love you... If I dont love you, I wont care, I could just flirt around when ur nt there but i didnt.. Is coz i love you im doing all this. IF I dont love you, I wont be asking you to spend time with me... You dont have to ask me how uch i love you... use ur brain and think.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Clearer picture..
You still dun get it.. maybe my previous post is abit too innuendo-istic or "chim".
You always dun have time for me. Dats all im trying to say. If im your pet dog, i think i'll die of hunger. I dun need so many calls or sms, if that the case, i might as well move to the states like i always wanted to and we can still keep on this same thing.. U always say Ur cropped up with school stuffs, projects and etc etc etc etc.. but dun see any efforts in trying to meet sumone u "love". Dun even put school as an excuse. Im working full time everyday and studying too. Its a matter of priority (which i know obviously im not the main one) and organization (if dats the right word to use). U realize it and still blog it down but all u did is just to say sorry. I was waiting for you to do something about it but days passed and ur still the same. im mad yes im mad.. im very mad, and you dont even notice it.. You're just like my doctor, i have to make an appointment and check on availability..
Saying a million of "I love you" and gazillion of sweet talks is not the only back bone of a relationship.
You always dun have time for me. Dats all im trying to say. If im your pet dog, i think i'll die of hunger. I dun need so many calls or sms, if that the case, i might as well move to the states like i always wanted to and we can still keep on this same thing.. U always say Ur cropped up with school stuffs, projects and etc etc etc etc.. but dun see any efforts in trying to meet sumone u "love". Dun even put school as an excuse. Im working full time everyday and studying too. Its a matter of priority (which i know obviously im not the main one) and organization (if dats the right word to use). U realize it and still blog it down but all u did is just to say sorry. I was waiting for you to do something about it but days passed and ur still the same. im mad yes im mad.. im very mad, and you dont even notice it.. You're just like my doctor, i have to make an appointment and check on availability..
Saying a million of "I love you" and gazillion of sweet talks is not the only back bone of a relationship.
Reflections 4
Definition of paranoid: extremely fearful of something that may not be true or may not happen.
So dats the definition... But should i say paranoid?? may not be true? may not happen? i dun think so.. So everything is alright? leaving me alone for the longest time and you still think that nothing have changed?
No, i don't need no apologies;
Heard that too many times, doesn't make sense to me anymore.
If by saying sorry the heart could mend, then the earth wont have no tears no more.
I dont need words, i need actions. Im sick of words
I dont want to hear anymore apologies. No. Not even a single sorry.
Action, action, Dont even mention about this thing to me. If you know do something and show it. I dont want anymore apologies or sweet talks.. no more...
No, I don't need no sympathy;
Stronger than ever, im much much more stronger.
I can stand alone. Im fine standing alone.
Having sumone sumtimes make the standing much more worth it.
So dun pity me. Pity yourself if you have to.
No i havent change,
Im just holding back, taking step back.
Every human being's heart has a door..Its beyond the physical heart that keeps us physically alive, Its the door to the heart of the soul, the one that keeps our soul, faith and love alive. My door has no lock, but it closes when no one keeps it open. Just like a shopping mall door, if no one walk by it, it automatically closes. Somehow it does make sense to me.
I know whatever decision i make now i wont get hurt. But hurting you is the last thing on my mind. I believe in karma, what goes around comes around. So i wont let karma bite me anymore. Maybe we should think it over and not hurt each other, this way karma wont attack any of us.
Think it over what you really want. dont make hasty decision. Its like having a pet, dont adopt one based on indulgence and in the end neglecting it, there's too many strays out on the streets. Think it through, dont hurt yourself.
So dats the definition... But should i say paranoid?? may not be true? may not happen? i dun think so.. So everything is alright? leaving me alone for the longest time and you still think that nothing have changed?
No, i don't need no apologies;
Heard that too many times, doesn't make sense to me anymore.
If by saying sorry the heart could mend, then the earth wont have no tears no more.
I dont need words, i need actions. Im sick of words
I dont want to hear anymore apologies. No. Not even a single sorry.
Action, action, Dont even mention about this thing to me. If you know do something and show it. I dont want anymore apologies or sweet talks.. no more...
No, I don't need no sympathy;
Stronger than ever, im much much more stronger.
I can stand alone. Im fine standing alone.
Having sumone sumtimes make the standing much more worth it.
So dun pity me. Pity yourself if you have to.
No i havent change,
Im just holding back, taking step back.
Every human being's heart has a door..Its beyond the physical heart that keeps us physically alive, Its the door to the heart of the soul, the one that keeps our soul, faith and love alive. My door has no lock, but it closes when no one keeps it open. Just like a shopping mall door, if no one walk by it, it automatically closes. Somehow it does make sense to me.
I know whatever decision i make now i wont get hurt. But hurting you is the last thing on my mind. I believe in karma, what goes around comes around. So i wont let karma bite me anymore. Maybe we should think it over and not hurt each other, this way karma wont attack any of us.
Think it over what you really want. dont make hasty decision. Its like having a pet, dont adopt one based on indulgence and in the end neglecting it, there's too many strays out on the streets. Think it through, dont hurt yourself.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Mother's Day ~ a true touching story
Mothers day recalled me on a story of the patience and perseverance of a mother.
15 years ago in a village, a youg man lets name him Harry, left his hometown to travell around the world, leaving his old parents behind. He was stubborn and reluctant to stay despite his parents begging him. He left. Two years later his father died leaving his mother alone.
After Harry's dad passed away, his mother waited at the railway station every single day at noon bringing Harry's favourite food Glutinous rice dumplings. Everyday She waited, hoping for her only son to return. Years passed, soon she went down with a Tubercolosis (TB) and started coughing blood every now and then.. Her conditions worsoned but despite that she was determine and vow not to die untill her son return.. Everyday she continued waiting for hours at the raiway station..
The whole village called her crazy and senile.. No one offered to help this poor old "so called crazy" lady except for a kind soul young lady "Amy". Despite all the discouragement from people, she patientely waited.. everyday for 15 years she waited, tearing and coughing blood every so often. She prayed everday for her son to return.
One day she got really sick and couldnt get out of bed, almost on the fringe of death.. But suddenly dont know why she forced herself to get up from bed and dragged herself to the railway station.. Amy couldnt stop her but just to follow.. She waited again from noon to the late evening.. To no avail, she breakdown in tears and started coughing blood again..
Then suddenly a voice came from afar, "Ma!" She looked up and to her supprise she saw a fully grown man, her son Harry. Now you can just imagine the situation now. She cried but this time not with the tears of sorrow, but tears of joy.
They were reunited after 15 years of saperation. 15 years doesnt stop the mother from waiting or giving up hope. The mother look at Amy and said, "Waiting for sumone you really love, you need alot of patience and peserverance. You need to believe and never give up. Not many people can do that. This is called true love. Cant be found even in marriage, But only a mothers love..."
Happy Mothers Day to all mums out there!! and to the evil Children, May you rot in hell!!
15 years ago in a village, a youg man lets name him Harry, left his hometown to travell around the world, leaving his old parents behind. He was stubborn and reluctant to stay despite his parents begging him. He left. Two years later his father died leaving his mother alone.
After Harry's dad passed away, his mother waited at the railway station every single day at noon bringing Harry's favourite food Glutinous rice dumplings. Everyday She waited, hoping for her only son to return. Years passed, soon she went down with a Tubercolosis (TB) and started coughing blood every now and then.. Her conditions worsoned but despite that she was determine and vow not to die untill her son return.. Everyday she continued waiting for hours at the raiway station..
The whole village called her crazy and senile.. No one offered to help this poor old "so called crazy" lady except for a kind soul young lady "Amy". Despite all the discouragement from people, she patientely waited.. everyday for 15 years she waited, tearing and coughing blood every so often. She prayed everday for her son to return.
One day she got really sick and couldnt get out of bed, almost on the fringe of death.. But suddenly dont know why she forced herself to get up from bed and dragged herself to the railway station.. Amy couldnt stop her but just to follow.. She waited again from noon to the late evening.. To no avail, she breakdown in tears and started coughing blood again..
Then suddenly a voice came from afar, "Ma!" She looked up and to her supprise she saw a fully grown man, her son Harry. Now you can just imagine the situation now. She cried but this time not with the tears of sorrow, but tears of joy.
They were reunited after 15 years of saperation. 15 years doesnt stop the mother from waiting or giving up hope. The mother look at Amy and said, "Waiting for sumone you really love, you need alot of patience and peserverance. You need to believe and never give up. Not many people can do that. This is called true love. Cant be found even in marriage, But only a mothers love..."
Happy Mothers Day to all mums out there!! and to the evil Children, May you rot in hell!!
Not a very Hapi Nite
Sat nite....
Would like to Thank "You" alot yeah! I almost lost my VIP status at the club.. Mad yes im mad.. Its so embarassing can! I dunna recap what happened... Thing is.. I gotta warning by the Club Boss, and he trusted me alot and now im so embarassed I think I loss his trust. Im not just mad about that, but also other reasons..
I hate people taking advantage of me! I am not a Kind person! I am a bad, selfish and self-centered guy who only think of myself.. so people, STOP TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ME!! simply Fcuk Off from me if you think im sumone who u can get things for free and then bleedy dissappear as if i dont exist... I dont go to club just to please you people... Id rather please myself and my good friends.. U All are just a bunch of immature kids who goes around bitching about other people.. simply hypocrite! get a life and GROW UP.. and to "YOU".. I dont owe you anything! stop giving me a fcuking attitude.. U r a bleedy New bird in this circle show some respect before u and ur friends really get a good wacking from me. Dont test my patience.. I've treated you people soo kind and i've "loved" you before.. Remember that in your brain.. Gosh get a life la kids!
Would like to Thank "You" alot yeah! I almost lost my VIP status at the club.. Mad yes im mad.. Its so embarassing can! I dunna recap what happened... Thing is.. I gotta warning by the Club Boss, and he trusted me alot and now im so embarassed I think I loss his trust. Im not just mad about that, but also other reasons..
I hate people taking advantage of me! I am not a Kind person! I am a bad, selfish and self-centered guy who only think of myself.. so people, STOP TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ME!! simply Fcuk Off from me if you think im sumone who u can get things for free and then bleedy dissappear as if i dont exist... I dont go to club just to please you people... Id rather please myself and my good friends.. U All are just a bunch of immature kids who goes around bitching about other people.. simply hypocrite! get a life and GROW UP.. and to "YOU".. I dont owe you anything! stop giving me a fcuking attitude.. U r a bleedy New bird in this circle show some respect before u and ur friends really get a good wacking from me. Dont test my patience.. I've treated you people soo kind and i've "loved" you before.. Remember that in your brain.. Gosh get a life la kids!
You'll never stand alone... and dont you cry
If there's a time when the fears should fill your eyes
And you can't see past the shadows, To the sun on the other side
Don't despair, because there always will be someone there
Don't lose faith, love won't let you lose your way Because
You, you'll never stand alone
I'll be standing by
I'll keep you from the cold
I'll hold you when you cry
I'll be there to be strong
When you can't find the strength inside
And you, you'll always have a home In these arms of mine
You'll never stand alone
Love is standing by
If there's a day when the rain should find your heart
And you're cold and tried and lonely
And this would has you in the dark
Don't be scared, you can just reach for me and I'll be there
Don't lose hope, love will see you through you know Because
You, you'll never stand alone
I'll be standing by
I'll keep you from the cold
I'll hold you when you cry
I'll be there to be strong
When you can't find the strength inside
And you, you'll always have a home In these arms of mine
You'll never stand alone
Love is standing by
Standing by to life you above all the hurt and pain
Standing by to carry you through all the tears and rain
Reach for me, I'll be with you Reach for me, I'll see you through
I'll be the one to hold you
The one to show you that
You, you'll never stand alone I'll be standing by
I'll keep you from the cold
I'll hold you when you cry
I'll be there to be strong
When you can't find the strength inside
And you, you'll always have a home
In these arms of mine
You'll never stand alone
Love is standing by
And you can't see past the shadows, To the sun on the other side
Don't despair, because there always will be someone there
Don't lose faith, love won't let you lose your way Because
You, you'll never stand alone
I'll be standing by
I'll keep you from the cold
I'll hold you when you cry
I'll be there to be strong
When you can't find the strength inside
And you, you'll always have a home In these arms of mine
You'll never stand alone
Love is standing by
If there's a day when the rain should find your heart
And you're cold and tried and lonely
And this would has you in the dark
Don't be scared, you can just reach for me and I'll be there
Don't lose hope, love will see you through you know Because
You, you'll never stand alone
I'll be standing by
I'll keep you from the cold
I'll hold you when you cry
I'll be there to be strong
When you can't find the strength inside
And you, you'll always have a home In these arms of mine
You'll never stand alone
Love is standing by
Standing by to life you above all the hurt and pain
Standing by to carry you through all the tears and rain
Reach for me, I'll be with you Reach for me, I'll see you through
I'll be the one to hold you
The one to show you that
You, you'll never stand alone I'll be standing by
I'll keep you from the cold
I'll hold you when you cry
I'll be there to be strong
When you can't find the strength inside
And you, you'll always have a home
In these arms of mine
You'll never stand alone
Love is standing by
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Would it be nice ~ Together
Wouldn't it be nice if we were older
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long
And wouldn't it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong
You know its gonna make it that much better
When we can say goodnight and stay together
Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through
The happy times together we've been spending
I wish that every kiss was never ending
Oh Wouldn't it be nice
Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true
Baby then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do
We could be married
And then we'd be happy
Wouldn't it be nice
You know it seems the more we talk about it
It only makes it worse to live without it
But lets talk about it
Oh, wouldn't it be nice
good night my baby
sleep tight my baby
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long
And wouldn't it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong
You know its gonna make it that much better
When we can say goodnight and stay together
Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through
The happy times together we've been spending
I wish that every kiss was never ending
Oh Wouldn't it be nice
Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true
Baby then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do
We could be married
And then we'd be happy
Wouldn't it be nice
You know it seems the more we talk about it
It only makes it worse to live without it
But lets talk about it
Oh, wouldn't it be nice
good night my baby
sleep tight my baby
Monday, May 5, 2008
Happy Day today!!
Well.. this if for YOU! you and i know what im gonna say rite... so i wont say here u should already know wad i wanted to say.. aniways... Go figure this..
Hang bok han, handall, gi nyum i'll !!!! sarang hae yo!!!
Oh ya.... and thank for the Sentosa celebration.. haha.. and We are not an Event!! remember that, im not your event company or event manager to cater to your event! so dont call our outing and event! get a better vocab! haha Je taime tu amour!!!! Aishiteru!!
A&K never too far..
Hang bok han, handall, gi nyum i'll !!!! sarang hae yo!!!
Oh ya.... and thank for the Sentosa celebration.. haha.. and We are not an Event!! remember that, im not your event company or event manager to cater to your event! so dont call our outing and event! get a better vocab! haha Je taime tu amour!!!! Aishiteru!!
A&K never too far..
Chalet on Saturday
Well im back from my "short break" from posting updates.. Hmmm Sat went to chalet at Aloha Changi. Was Victoria Birthday and some anniversary thingy.. no comments bout it kinda bored ppl playing mahjong and me, chatting with my old time friend Iggy.. Talk and talk nonsense and laugh like mad.. Then After dat Adrian called so i ask him take cab come down the chalet. Well his stupid taxi uncle got lost so i waited by the roadside of the Ooolo street alone.. its kinda distance away frm the chalet.. Well its kinda scary la standing alone there very dim light and everywhere is forest! then got one very huge owl fly and stop ontop of the lampost.. The first live owl i ever seen.. But my grandmother say, At nite if you see owl come near human its not owl, its GUI!!! scary can! Well, Adrian got crazy in the room and started wearing victoria boots dunno for wad! Then take pic and pose pose all dat.. You ask me to post the pics.. I posted all liao so u know wad to do hor!!!!
"I wish you knew"
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